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The Hermit of Cubao

The Hermit of Cubao
Photo by Marlon Cagatin, December 13, 2015

Sunday, December 13, 2015

"A Distant Friend Commits Suicide" (Night of Sunday, December 13, 2015)

The Dream:

An old friend who lives in the south, Gardy L., is for some reason boarding in our house, which looks as it did 30 years ago. I come home one morning and am told by neighbors that he has just committed suicide, and I have a fleeting vision of him hanging himself. I am stunned speechless. His funeral wake will be held some houses down the street, but I am uncertain as to whether I want to see him in a coffin or not.

Then the suicide is no longer Gardy, it is Jeff. S., a young artist I have not seen in two years. Michael M., a neighbor, asks me to go to the funeral wake, but I am even more reluctant to do so.

I go inside my house and see that it looks totally different. The upper floor has two huge rooms, like rooms in the old houses that line the streets of Sta. Cruz. In the first room a group of neighbors and guests are playing mah jongg. It is extremely stuffy, and I turn on four, different electric fans and two lamps [ceiling lights and lamps in my dreams always refer to psychic vision]. In the second room Gil C., a high school classmate, is with other high school classmates. Some of them have just arrived from abroad.

It has rained, and I step outside. Now my house is located on EDSA, near Cubao Crossing. Litoy E., also a high school classmate, comes up to me and asks me how I am. He is under the impression that I am financially hard up. I assure him that I have been receiving annuity since my retirement and that I will continue to do so until I die. He tells me that Gil wants a pair of flip-flops. I walk over to a sidewalk vendor selling flip-flops and choose a pair in my size, but they are slightly muddy due to the rain. I ask the vendor to clean the flip-flops. She seems reluctant to go through the trouble.

I must go to the funeral wake, though I don't want to. I am now inside a church, beside my Mom, waiting for a requiem Mass to begin. I am smoking a cigarette. I feel embarrassed that I am doing that inside a church, and so I tell Mom that I will step outside awhile. This is the time when I decide to go to the funeral wake. I am on my street again, and I walk toward the neighbor's house where Gardy's/Jeff's wake is being held. Suddenly, though, I am no longer on the street but in the winding corridor of a mall. I look at the store display windows to my right as I walk. I remember one in which the entire window has a king-size bed sheeted in satin, with a lot of throw pillows in matching, satin pillowcases. I tell myself that neither I nor Jeff would feel comfortable sleeping in such a bed, unless we were really exhausted.

Walking on, the corridor floor turns into a squishy mattress. I am unable to find the venue of the funeral wake. I go back to the church, which is now a huge bedroom, Mom's bedroom. I am glad to finally come upon peace and quiet. At last I can lie down on a bed and rest.


Events of The Day:

It was a typical Sunday, in which the second day of the weekend belonged to my granddaughters rather than to me. Lunch and dinner were at M.'s cafe. I opened a new blog--this one--because the previous one was quickly being filled with too many entries.  J. arrived late at night to surprise Angelique and bring her some food while she was reviewing for her exam week.


My Interpretation:

This dream was disturbing to me at first, because, for the past week, one of my spirit guides has been telling me that a male friend or acquaintance from my past will soon pass away. After writing down the dream, however, I see that it is about saying goodbye to the past (death of Gardy/Jeff). This was triggered off by my opening a new blog, which was, literally, saying goodbye to the old blog.

The recurrence of the number two is significant--Gardy and Jeff, old house and new house, two years, two huge rooms, two groups of people (neighbors/guests and high school classmates), two lamps, two street locations, a pair of flip-flops, two mattresses, two beds--and could refer to double sets of lifestyles or values that I have been holding on to. Toward the end of the dream my psyche is telling me to get rid of those and stick to one of anything--I am in one room and must lie down and rest.

It also occurred to me that any or all of the people in the dream have been trying to send me telepathic messages and reach out to me. (Most people have needed to go out of their way to do this since I converted my life to that of an urban hermit's.)

Note: I always have special dreams on the eve or the feast day night of Saint Lucy, possibly because my subconscious reminds me that she is the saint of physical vision and insight.


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