Your PM:

"Good evening sir Tony.. If this is somehow inappropriate, please forgive me. I am just feeling overwhelmed and confused, also mad at myself that at my age I haven't found the balance between being good and being firm/outspoken/strict (can't find the right word). It's the story of my life... I offer my hand and people always take the whole arm. I am always trying to be fair, kind, helpful... but is it really the nature of man to take advantage of kindness? Or am I at fault for being naive slash stupid? You are the only person I can think of right now who might be able to offer some sane advice. I want to believe that people are inherently good-hearted... I don't want to lose this vision. But my life is a mess right now because of it. Ironic, isn't it?

"There were times I tried to be assertive, but I ended up being tagged with some nasty labels
frown emoticon
"Pleasant evening to you, sir. Thank you for reading my message."

My reply:

Hello _______!

Your message was couched in abstractions because you knew that I would post it in cyberspace. I DO do that so that others may benefit both from the problem presented and my reply. I do not respond to people who ask me for advice and then tell me not to post any of it for all to read. I find it selfish and hypocritical of them. I am not, after all, being paid to respond to any of them, therefore none of them can tell me what to do.

Nothing is inappropriate to me because nothing ever shocks me. Having read between the lines of your message, here is what I saw as the root of your problems:

1) You want to be desired by the most unlikely persons. It is a subconscious challenge that you dare yourself to overcome. While it gives you a thrill, it leads to frustration and sadness. It is a pattern that you need to learn how to break.

2) In every relationship, you give mixed signals as to whom and what you really love.

3) You are unable to define your own happiness because you want one thing now, then another soon after.

4) You need to comprehend that whenever you give of yourself, others will also give of themselves, but it won't necessarily be back to you.

5) You center your life around dreams that matter to you but do not make sense to others.

As you can see I, too, have couched my reply in abstractions, but I know that you know exactly what I mean.

My magical suggestion is for you to place a small, yellow dish with five, new, shiny, brass, 25-centavo coins on your altar or bedside table. Things will improve in five days, and you will be able to follow your heart while having clarity of mind and feeling.