Tony Perez's Electronic Diary (December 13, 2015 - May 13, 2016)
My on-line journal: continued from tonyperezphilippinescyberspacebook25.blogspot.com (May 17 - December 13, 2015)
Go GREEN. Read from THE SCREEN. |
The Hermit of Cubao
Thursday, May 12, 2016
John John
D. sent me sad news this afternoon. His stepson John John, barely 19 years old, was salvaged by men who might have gotten him involved in drug trafficking. His cadaver was found miles away from his home, in Dolores, Quezon.
I knew John John because his parents used to own an antique shop in Ermita, which was close enough to my office to visit on lunch breaks when I was still employed. I have, as a matter of fact, quite a few exquisite items from that shop, but the piece de resistance will always remain a one-meter-tall, porcelain Kwan Yin coveted by many.
John John wasn't exactly an ideal son. He was out of school and into drugs at 14, among other things, when I first met him. He got a girl pregnant at 15, later separated from her, and then shacked up with another girl. He got into brawls with the police. He tried a series of menial jobs that never lasted, mostly as a fast-food waiter and as a bag boy in supermarkets. I once tried to get him interested in theater and art, and brought him with me to the Cultural Center of the Philippines during Tatlong Tabing: Tatlong Dula Ni Tony Perez, but that didn't work because he was too maverick and couldn't shake off his substance habit. He became docile for a while after his mother suffered a stroke; he stayed home and conscientiously took care of her. His stepfather, D., moved the entire family to the province for a change of surroundings. It seems, however, that John John still managed to find his way to his old, crooked friends, and to always the wrong people.
For the past two years John John had been trying to reach me on my mobile, but I consistently ignored his messages. His last message was a request to teach him painting, but it was something that I just couldn't take seriously. In retrospect, he may have been calling out for help, and now I somehow feel guilty that I was too busy with other things and did nothing about it.
I knew John John because his parents used to own an antique shop in Ermita, which was close enough to my office to visit on lunch breaks when I was still employed. I have, as a matter of fact, quite a few exquisite items from that shop, but the piece de resistance will always remain a one-meter-tall, porcelain Kwan Yin coveted by many.
John John wasn't exactly an ideal son. He was out of school and into drugs at 14, among other things, when I first met him. He got a girl pregnant at 15, later separated from her, and then shacked up with another girl. He got into brawls with the police. He tried a series of menial jobs that never lasted, mostly as a fast-food waiter and as a bag boy in supermarkets. I once tried to get him interested in theater and art, and brought him with me to the Cultural Center of the Philippines during Tatlong Tabing: Tatlong Dula Ni Tony Perez, but that didn't work because he was too maverick and couldn't shake off his substance habit. He became docile for a while after his mother suffered a stroke; he stayed home and conscientiously took care of her. His stepfather, D., moved the entire family to the province for a change of surroundings. It seems, however, that John John still managed to find his way to his old, crooked friends, and to always the wrong people.
For the past two years John John had been trying to reach me on my mobile, but I consistently ignored his messages. His last message was a request to teach him painting, but it was something that I just couldn't take seriously. In retrospect, he may have been calling out for help, and now I somehow feel guilty that I was too busy with other things and did nothing about it.
Thinking of Francis
While working on a four-panel mural for the lobby of a beach resort and afterward the improvement of a deer statue in front of one of the cottages, I was assisted by five apprentices who lived in Olongapo and took the ferry to the resort whenever I went there. One of them was a young man named Francis. I cannot recall his surname, only that he was one of the best apprentices I ever had, he followed instructions to the letter, and he made me feel like the successful operator of a Renaissance atelier. Like all of the other apprentices Francis was poor, if not dirt poor, and subsisted only on charcoal portrait commissions from friends and acquaintances. One afternoon while we were scouring the shore for shells and bits of coral, he came upon a broken Barbie doll in a trash pile, picked it up, washed it lovingly, and stored it safely among his belongings. I asked him if the doll were for his daughter, but he explained that he intended to use it as an ecorche, "for anatomical reference".
If Francis had no family of his own I would have offered him a home with S. on the ground floor of our house, teach him more about materials and techniques, and help him generate his own art for sale. He would only have been lonely in Cubao, however, and would have longed to be with his wife and children as often as he could.
If Francis had no family of his own I would have offered him a home with S. on the ground floor of our house, teach him more about materials and techniques, and help him generate his own art for sale. He would only have been lonely in Cubao, however, and would have longed to be with his wife and children as often as he could.
Watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Set in the 1950s it is, unfortunately, a confused cross between Grease and The X-Files. The Roswell-extraterrestrial connection-Maya subject matter is interesting to me, but, I am certain, comes across as utterly unfocused to audiences that are not in the know.
Cate Blanchett is in this one, and Ray Winstone as the token Ke Huy Quan. It is even hinted at that the producers might be open to continuing the series with Ray Winstone taking over Harrison Ford, who is much older in this episode despite the water of immortality that he drank in The Last Crusade (which, evidently, didn't work and even more evidently wasn't the last crusade).
The screenplay is a tired hodgepodge of ancient mythology and the urban mythology of extraterrestrials. There is less action than in previous episodes, and there is too much verbal exposition. Many of the exteriors actually look like studio sets; the lighting is too carefully designed and, as a result, the scenes are too carefully dark. There is more smashing of gates, doors, and artifacts, making me feel that this series is the complete opposite of heritage conservation.
Like The Last Crusade, this episode hinges on a fatherhood issue. On the whole, however, Crystal Skull is boring because, as the audience, we really cannot understand what everyone is looking for and why they should even be looking for it.
Cate Blanchett is in this one, and Ray Winstone as the token Ke Huy Quan. It is even hinted at that the producers might be open to continuing the series with Ray Winstone taking over Harrison Ford, who is much older in this episode despite the water of immortality that he drank in The Last Crusade (which, evidently, didn't work and even more evidently wasn't the last crusade).
The screenplay is a tired hodgepodge of ancient mythology and the urban mythology of extraterrestrials. There is less action than in previous episodes, and there is too much verbal exposition. Many of the exteriors actually look like studio sets; the lighting is too carefully designed and, as a result, the scenes are too carefully dark. There is more smashing of gates, doors, and artifacts, making me feel that this series is the complete opposite of heritage conservation.
Like The Last Crusade, this episode hinges on a fatherhood issue. On the whole, however, Crystal Skull is boring because, as the audience, we really cannot understand what everyone is looking for and why they should even be looking for it.
My granddaughter Aubrey's crystal skull
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, because I thought I hadn't on the big screen years ago, which proves that this, to me, was the most forgettable episode of them all. As usual it is an exciting carnival ride, with chases, contrived arguments to provide texture to the dialogue, a lot of smashing of walls and floors without the owners' permission, and vehicles that materialize out of nowhere to provide convenient escape for the characters. Sean Connery is here as Indie's father--and River Phoenix as the young Indie (what a great loss he was to the world of movies, for he was, indeed, a most beautiful young man).
This episode is about the quest for the Holy Grail. It was fun to regress to the age of 13 and enjoy this movie. I recall that, when this movie showed, it was on or about the time that battered, distressed, leather portfolios came into vogue. It was also during this time that my sister Sylvia sent me a cruciform-sword pendant from Australia, and I now realize that this was the movie behind it.
In the end those chases became quite tiresome, like a trite video game. Cinematography is the only substance of this series. And the fact that it made Harrison Ford forever young and immortal, with or without the Holy Grail.
This episode is about the quest for the Holy Grail. It was fun to regress to the age of 13 and enjoy this movie. I recall that, when this movie showed, it was on or about the time that battered, distressed, leather portfolios came into vogue. It was also during this time that my sister Sylvia sent me a cruciform-sword pendant from Australia, and I now realize that this was the movie behind it.
In the end those chases became quite tiresome, like a trite video game. Cinematography is the only substance of this series. And the fact that it made Harrison Ford forever young and immortal, with or without the Holy Grail.
- Today
- A Messenger conversation with R., a young composer who lives in the U.S. He is one of my favorite students. His journey is a difficult one.
- 7:44am
Benjamin Zamora Silva
Almost done. Actually I need one more day, but have gotten quite ill from the fumes. - 7:44am
- 7:44am
Benjamin Zamora Silva
Oil is really lethal. A lot of artists gave it up for health reasons. However it is still the best medium. It lasts for centuries. - 7:45am
R.
nice
a noble cause
i was wondering
though
looking through you pictures of the painting
the bottom seems so bright and vibrant
and the top kind of dull
not in a bad way
but in some sort of juxtaposition
is that on purpose?
like
for instance
the top left leaf
could be like the wings of the fairies
i'm not criticizing
was just curious
as to how you saw it - 7:51am
Benjamin Zamora Silva
Yes. The purpose of glazing this painting is to make all the surrounding colors cool, gradually growing warmer as they approach the fire. It creates the illusion of a blazing fire. The colors I chose are from a restricted palette, all earth colors. The introduction of other colors would distract the viewer from the focal point of the picture--either the fire in the pit or my crotch, depending on how you see it. I also wanted to convey an oppressed, secret-meeting atmosphere.Cool colors were furthermore necessary because I had to provide breaks between the masses of flesh, which are rendered in warm colors. The masses of flesh would otherwise be too overwhelming, - 7:52am
- 7:52am
Benjamin Zamora Silva
It is really a very sensuous painting, but best seen in front of you. Photos are low-res. - 7:52am
R.
ye
i got the sensuous feel
you're right about the whole crotch and fire thing
i like the balance of the fairies though
and the mermaid
they kind of balance it in a whimsical way
idk if i could ever be a painter - 7:55am
Benjamin Zamora Silva
Yes, the fairies are foreground figures. They are light creatures and do not cast shadows as dark as the others'.Note that all the females are fully "dressed". That was deliberate too, it was to emphasize the primitive masculine. - 7:55am
- 7:55am
- 7:55am
- 7:56am
- 7:57am
R.
no like
in the finished product
there can be movement
in terms of where your eyes and soul go
when viewing a good painting
but for me
with music
you're always moving
and yet
standing still at the same time
or not
if you're dancin
*dancing
lol
but that's what i mean - 7:58am
- 7:58am
- 7:58am
- 7:58am
R.
i'm not going to get in a fight over it lol
i just feel like for me
A) i wish i understood painting more
B) i love music and appreciate the sound-color/shape-process - 8:00am
Benjamin Zamora Silva
Check out the works of Kandinsky. All of his paintings are renditions of or were inspired by music. - 8:00am
Sitting at my computer inside my captain's cabin bedroom, which is against a window that looks out onto the driveway. From this vantage point I see tenants walking out the gate to go to work or school. Aubrey herself left half an hour ago to go to her college admission review class. Until I turned 64, the year I retired, this was how my life was, a series of mornings trying to beat devils' traffic and get to work. I am a lot happier and more content now.
I always thought that it would be the other way around, that being that person in the driveway was much preferable to being the person looking out from the window, but that was from the point of view of someone who had not yet turned 64.
I always thought that it would be the other way around, that being that person in the driveway was much preferable to being the person looking out from the window, but that was from the point of view of someone who had not yet turned 64.
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Cerefina was on the office floor this morning, lying flat and completely relaxed. She had a pensive look on her face, and the constant movement of her eyes conveyed that she was thinking animatedly despite the immobility of her body.
There are times when I wish that my knowledge of clinical psychology would extend to the thinking processes of animals. I know that they reflect, because anyone who is capable of memory is also capable of reflection.
There are times when I wish that my knowledge of clinical psychology would extend to the thinking processes of animals. I know that they reflect, because anyone who is capable of memory is also capable of reflection.
Exciting! The proprietor and curator of Artery Art Space dropped by to see S.'s work in progress and my The Midnight Lecture in progress. He agreed to accept both on consignment. I want S. to complete all the panels before having them sold, though.
Artery Art Space is just across the street from our house. S. and I are now pretending to be starving artists living in Paris and hoping to sell our paintings at a Salon.
Artery Art Space is just across the street from our house. S. and I are now pretending to be starving artists living in Paris and hoping to sell our paintings at a Salon.
Monday, May 9, 2016
Sunday, May 8, 2016
In retrospect, people may have joined his parade because it seemed like a lot of fun and they had nothing better to do on boring, hot, summer days and nights. It was like participating in a Mardi Gras. It was free entertainment. But only a few of them even knew, understood, or cared what issues were at stake.
Your Messenger message:
"Hi Sir , you are always in my dream, i think every other day. I cannot recall the exact details of my dream. A week ago what i clearly recall is that you insisting on something, almost it runs on my entire dream. I woke up with a headache . Two days ago you appeared in my dreams, your wearing blue jeans with white long sleeves , in my dreams i assisting you doing exorcism. Its a series of events with one theme, all about exorcism."
My reply:
Hello _______!
At this particular junction in your life your psyche is telling you to "exorcise" something within you: a bad habit, a peculiarity, a dark impulse, or a feeling of dissatisfaction or frustration about your work situation. Remember that dreams recur because, in waking life, you do not take the proper action that your psyche requires.
I suggest that you contemplate whatever change you need to do in your life--major or minor--and take things one step at a time.
"Hi Sir , you are always in my dream, i think every other day. I cannot recall the exact details of my dream. A week ago what i clearly recall is that you insisting on something, almost it runs on my entire dream. I woke up with a headache . Two days ago you appeared in my dreams, your wearing blue jeans with white long sleeves , in my dreams i assisting you doing exorcism. Its a series of events with one theme, all about exorcism."
My reply:
Hello _______!
At this particular junction in your life your psyche is telling you to "exorcise" something within you: a bad habit, a peculiarity, a dark impulse, or a feeling of dissatisfaction or frustration about your work situation. Remember that dreams recur because, in waking life, you do not take the proper action that your psyche requires.
I suggest that you contemplate whatever change you need to do in your life--major or minor--and take things one step at a time.
6:15 PM. Angelique and J. arrived from Baguio City. They were dropped off here by J.'s parents. They are leaving again soon, however, to attend J.'s parents' house blessing.
My schedule used to be like that before I decided that it is so much better to take things easy and keep my life stress-free, while the rest of the world does not.
My schedule used to be like that before I decided that it is so much better to take things easy and keep my life stress-free, while the rest of the world does not.
My first, post-retirement painting will be finished soon. I hope to do at least 19 more, without rushing, so that, when I die, my granddaughters can sell them and use the money on themselves.
That is why I've been giving away my old paintings--to free up storage for new ones.
I will, of course, tell them what the prices are. Bwahahahahahahaha!
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